Your career used to spark excitement, but now, the thought of heading to work brings a sense of dread?
Embracing your role as a stay-at-home mom is rewarding, yet you are yearning for more, both financially and in contributing to the world beyond your home.
Can you relate?
What is my purpose in this life?
It’s likely you’ve read about this topic or taken a “how to find my purpose quiz” on the internet. Maybe you’ve even listened to speakers discuss this important topic. I will go ahead and tell you that I am not going to be able to answer this specifically for you in the next 10 minutes. My aim is to offer you a fresh perspective and motivate you to dive deeper into this, not just this week, but as an ongoing part of your journey.
Learning From My Story
Near the end of my senior year of high school, most of my friends had their future path mapped out with plans of college and employment. I, on the other hand, had no idea what I wanted to do.
Second semester that year, I ended up helping out in a first grade classroom, as an office aid assignment. I was asked to work with students reading their AR books. I remember that very first day, listening and watching the excitement of the learning process. I would help them sound out a word and they would look up at me and grin, so proud of themselves. For the very first time, I actually felt drawn to something that could be a profession. So, I was like- okay I am going to be a teacher. I told myself this would be my purpose in life.
Your purpose is more than your profession.
When I started out as a teacher, I was excited and focused on encouraging young minds to find joy in learning and motivating them to want to keep learning and be their best, helping them see their potential. Planning my annual Poetry Cafe and Lemonade War was actually fun to me and I looked forward to being in the classroom.
Then, somewhere in the process, my focus shifted. It was a slow shift over time, but my focus evolved to be on the difficulties of my profession. It seemed like pressures of testing, behavior issues and disrespect from students and parents got harder each year. The late nights of planning and grading papers were taking a toll on me. It had been a slow process over the course of years, but my excitement had turned to dread.
I was frustrated with my profession. I didn’t feel like I was serving a greater good and fulfilling my purpose anymore. I had lost my passion.
Your purpose is more than being a spouse.
This was right when Robert and I moved away and started our own business. I haven’t written much about that year that we worked together as Mobile RV Technician and wife. It was really hard. I was soooo far out of my comfort zone. I felt more incompetent than I ever had in my life. I was spending my days handing Robert tools and booking appointments. My focus was on making this business successful for Robert, supporting Robert in whatever he needed. I was trying to prove to Robert that, even though I didn’t know what any of these tools were or how to fix anything, I wasn’t an idiot. Well, not a complete idiot!
After months of survival mode on my part, I knew I needed to find a way to do something I was good at again. We realized that we wanted to be together as much as possible and we were okay with working together some, but really needed to find a balance and I needed to feel like I was serving a purpose more than just being his assistant.
Your purpose is more than being a parent.
We tried for years to get pregnant. I had seen so many negative pregnancy tests, that I almost couldn’t believe it when the two lines showed up. Robert definitely didn’t believe it. He wouldn’t even talk about it until we finally got to hear the heartbeat.
We were back in Kentucky at this point. Not in either of our hometowns, but close enough to be with family more. Robert was still working on local RV repair work and we had purchased a flip house in a nearby college town.
Our son, Bodie, was born in January of 2022. Every other passion and calling came to a halt with our new baby boy.
I had a new purpose. Being a Mama!
That first year with Bodie was wonderful. My word of the year was peace and I felt it more than ever in my life. The world was still a little shut down from Covid. We had done well with the flip house and I was able to be home with Bodie while Robert did repair jobs out of our garage. We were enjoying every moment together, every cuddle and smile. I loved that we didn’t have to get him up early and take him out in the cold for someone else to watch all day. We were doing it all.
As that first year with Bodie came to an end, so did our savings. Then, there was a shift from peace to worry. I felt the need to contribute financially to our family.
Your purpose is more than making money.
January of 2023, I started a search for “ways to make money from home.” I know I am speaking to someone out there with that. Robert was sending me endless tiktok videos and anytime I had my phone out, I was being bombarded with ads for stay at home money making ideas.
I came across a 7 Day Challenge for selling on Amazon with a company called Rainmakers. The challenge was $50 and I just felt like I was being called to do it. After the 7 day challenge, I was filled with energy again. The potential to make what they called “Passive Income” and be a stay at home mom all at the same time.
I fully invested. Money, time, energy. All of it. I was all in. I got up early before Bodie was awake, I worked every nap time and late in the evenings. I plan to do a whole blog on my experience with a review of the program when my year ends next month.
I launched two products right as quarter four began and I have a third product on the way to Amazon now. Spoiler alert: I am not rich from this yet.
I do see the potential for this Amazon business to become semi-passive in the coming years and give me more time potentially to do what I love. I’ve made a lot of rookie mistakes starting this business. I wish I could go back a year ago and tell myself how to do things differently. I definitely have mom guilt from how much time and energy I put into figuring out this supposedly passive way to be a SAHM and make money. Now, I am feeling the burn out again because of the imbalance.
Finding The Balance
Even if your experiences haven’t been the same as mine, I believe we’re all on a quest to find fulfillment in serving our purpose.
As this year is coming to an end, I am reflecting on my journey to this point. I feel that much of the secret to fulfilling my purpose will be using my experiences and finding a balance.
I recently came across the Japanese concept “ikigai.” In the Japanese language, ‘Iki’ means ‘life,’ and ‘gai’ means value or worth. Basically, ikigai is your life purpose or where you find your sense of joy and what inspires you to get out of bed in the morning. It really clicked for me when I saw a simple diagram, like the one here, explaining this idea.
The concept of balance has been consuming my thoughts recently, as if there’s a calling for me to seek it. This is why the ikigai model resonates with me. Its simplicity, combined with the strength of visualization, has given me a new sense of clarity, and I hope it can do the same for you.
It is about finding an equal balance of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs and what you can be paid for. Reflecting now on all the times when I experienced burnout and sought change, it was a result of an imbalance. I guess I knew that each time, but instead of searching for balance, I would totally dive into something else.
It's a Journey, Not a Destination
It’s crazy to me how often my writing circles back to this statement. Discovering your purpose is going to take experience and time. Throughout your life, you will find things you love, things you’re good at and your eyes will be open to things the world needs specifically from you.
You will also find things that you think you are going to love, then your passion for that could be taken away or dissolve over time. You will think you are going to be good at something and then you will find that it is not for you. It is okay. It is all part of the journey and this will evolve over time.
We are in a world now where there is more opportunity than ever before to make money doing things you love. Leaving a 9-5 job that you feel obligated to go to and replacing it with an income source that you are genuinely passionate about, is actually a realistic option.
I am NOT saying that it will be easy or that it is for everyone!
But, if you have stumbled across my blog and read up to this point, I feel that you are passionate enough about this that you should at least look into this more! You might find valuable insights that will align with your own journey.
My challenges to you this week:
– reflect on your past experiences to this point (good and bad.)
–Create your own ikigai model (what you love, what you are good at and what the world needs and then brainstorm ways you can make money doing it!)
–Focus on finding balance in your life now and how you could create balance in your future with your own ikigai.
Check out this week’s live in our Bold Route FB Community Group where I share my insights from my own ikigai model. Remember, life is short! Take the Bold Route.