I can feel a meltdown coming on....
I was in the lighting aisle at Lowe’s, staring at all the options for a light fixture—I don’t even remember for which room. So many choices. Exhaustion had set in; I literally felt like I could not make one more decision. I actually felt like I couldn’t even move, but I was also determined that I was absolutely not leaving until the decision was made and this next item was in my cart along with the remaining items on my list.
About six months prior to this visit to Lowe’s, I made one of the boldest decisions of my life. I was a single public school teacher absolutely itching for a new adventure, so I bought my very first home. I’m not talking about just a good cleaning and picking a few new paint colors house. I’m talking about the type of house that, when your dad comes to see it, he says, “Absolutely not, this is way too much for you.” Even though you’re 30 years old and don’t need his permission and he also knows that you’re going to do it anyway. I’m talking about the kitchen ceiling falling in, weird smells, total gut job first home.
As soon as I went to look at it and knew I was going to put in an offer on it, I was so full of energy, excitement, and drive that I almost felt unstoppable. That, paired with an amazing contractor who saw my vision and was patient with all my requests, my superhero mom who is a productive force of nature, and my dad who quickly came around to the idea because he always has my back (even though I’d still hear him mumble “this is ridiculous” throughout the project 😂).
Fast forward six months and I had made what seemed to be ten million decisions…Ask my mom about her trip with me to Lowe’s when I tried to pick out my kitchen paint color! So here I was, in Lowes standing there looking at this wall of options, with my cart so full that it wouldn’t hold one more thing, and I was getting ready to have a meltdown right there in that aisle. What was I thinking? I’ll never be able to get this project finished! Who are you to think that you can pull this off? You are no Joanna Gaines. This is never going to end. You’re going to be living in this mess forever.—I know I’m dramatic.
I don’t remember what the light fixtures were for, but I do remember contemplating sitting on the floor and crying. Then, all of a sudden, I heard a sweet, kind, calm voice say my name. I turned, and it was one of my very best friends, who was making a random trip to Lowe’s that evening. She had no idea I was going to be there. Next, I hear Jess say, “Are you okay?” and for some reason, I thought that I was going to be able to play it off and said, “Yeah, why?” She replied, “I could hear you talking to yourself from the next aisle over. I decided to walk over here to see who this crazy person was.” Bahaha. I had no idea I was talking out loud.
She saw my list, said she’d be right back with another cart, and before I knew it, we were whipping all over the store. I was just following her around like a grateful puppy. She’d say “Which one,” I’d quickly point without overthinking, and within minutes, we had filled up the second cart she was now pushing around with all the remaining items on my list (she is an extremely efficient decision-maker). Then, she helped me out the door with not a single item left unchecked. I’m pretty sure God sent her to save me from my meltdown. Thinking back, I don’t remember her ever getting whatever it was she came there for. 🤔
In This Blog Post
Big, bold decisions are often followed by thousands of smaller ones. Today, we will learn to distinguish routine choices from major life decisions, discuss the importance of making these routine choices efficiently, and cover strategies for handling the countless small decisions we face daily. By doing so, we can avoid decision paralysis or meltdowns (in case you don’t have a Jessica in your life 😉) and regain our sanity.
The Overwhelming Nature of Decision-Making
Have you ever felt like your brain is in overdrive, constantly flipping between decisions? According to John W. Payne, a leading expert in decision-making theory and author of Decision-Making: Theory and Practice, we make between 20,000 and 35,000 decisions every day. Payne’s research also highlights that women make approximately 10,000 more decisions daily than men (this part did not surprise me 😉) So, it’s no wonder we sometimes experience decision paralysis!
Since selling that first house (at over asking price and within a week 😳), I’ve made many more big, bold decisions that have led me to new adventures and millions more small choices. Now, being a mompreneur, I am making more decisions than I ever have, big and small. This is my life right now- I might be deciding on tactics for negotiating a business contract one minute and then deciding which cleaner is best for the sticky mess my son made on the floor the very next minute.
What about you? What are your daily decisions like?
- Deciding if you should have coffee in the morning (😜JK that’s a no-brainer).
- Picking an outfit that says “I’ve got it together” while knowing you’ll end up in yoga pants.
- Choosing between working out or hitting the snooze button one more time.
- Debating what to make for dinner that everyone will actually eat.
- Figuring out which errands to tackle first without losing your sanity.
- Deciding if today is a makeup day or a “natural beauty” day.
- Picking which podcast to listen to while folding laundry.
- Trying to remember if you actually turned the dryer on or just thought about it.
- Planning around everyone’s schedules to make sure the day runs smoothly.
- Deciding which social media posts to schedule for the day.
- Choosing which emails need immediate responses and which can wait.
- Deciding on the layout of a presentation slide.
- Deciding whether to follow up with a client or wait for their response.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Exhausted? Headed for a meltdown? Ready to learn some strategies for efficient everyday decision-making to help you navigate through the day with more ease and less stress?
Distinguishing Between Pivotal Decisions and Routine Choices
It’s important to be able to distinguish between routine decision-making (everyday decisions) and pivotal decisions. For this article, we are going to focus on the routine choices that will not have significant and/or long-term consequences These are the choices you make regularly and need to be able to make quickly, allowing you to save your mental energy for the pivotal decisions that require deeper thought.
Recognizing Routine Choices
Here are some examples:
Repetitive Tasks:
These involve choices you make regularly as part of your daily or weekly routine.
Low-Impact:
These are decisions that have minor consequences and can often be made based on personal preference or convenience.
Quick Judgments:
These are decisions that don’t require deep reflection or extensive deliberation.
Why Efficient Routine Decision-Making Matters
Making routine choices quickly and without stress prevents decision paralysis and conserves mental energy. This efficiency ensures you have the clarity and bandwidth needed for pivotal situations. By streamlining these everyday decisions, you can focus on what truly matters, make impactful choices when it counts, and be present for a more fulfilling life.
Strategies for Efficient Routine Decision-Making
In our next post, we will dive into strategies for making big, bold, pivotal decisions that require careful consideration. For now, we are going to focus on helping you conserve your mental energy, maintain your sanity, and keep your focus sharp for those larger decisions. Here are some ways you can master streamlining the countless routine choices you make each day to
1. Acknowledging the Overwhelm
We all know the feeling—being so overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions we have to make that we just want to hide under a blanket and hope someone else will take over. Whether it’s deciding what to cook for dinner or choosing the best path for your business, it can all feel like too much. The first step is to acknowledge that you need to make some changes. I was so determined I wanted to make all the decisions perfectly and all by myself about every little detail in that first house that I became overwhelmed and when it came time to make some of the bigger decisions, I barely had any capacity left for that.
2. Set Time Limits
One of the best ways to avoid getting stuck on small decisions is to set time limits. A few examples of how I have been putting this into play for myself recently:
-When I’m designing posts for social media, I give myself 15 minutes to finalize. After that, I make myself move on.
-Making my menu for the week- I used to enjoy this task and loved taking time to plan out our meals, but now it overwhelms me. So, I do meal planning and grocery list on Sunday and I leave myself 30 minutes to; quickly choose easy meals, write down must-have ingredients, and finalize my pick-up list (yes, I do pick up because the inside of a grocery store is too overwhelming for me anymore.) And guess what, if I forget something then I make do with what I have! Whaaa? No second trips to the grocery? That’s right and it’s amazing what you can find in the back of your fridge or pantry and how everyone will survive for at least one week without their favorite cereal.
What is something you know you spend too much time on each week overanalyzing? What do you need to set a reasonable time limit for? Don’t forget to set a timer!
3. Prioritize and Simplify
Prioritizing your tasks can make a world of difference. Start with the most important decisions that need to be made and work your way down. Simplify your choices wherever you can—if you’re stuck between two equally good options, just pick one and go with it. The goal is to keep moving forward. Before going to bed at night, I like to write out my to-do list for the next day as I think of tasks. Then, I go back and prioritize with numbers the order of what I will focus on first to last. And I put a star by things that actually have to be decided that next day. You would be surprised at how many things aren’t as urgent as they seem in the moment.
4. Routine and Automation
Creating routines and automating decisions can save a lot of mental energy. For instance, setting up a regular schedule for household chores can streamline your day. Instead of deciding each day when to do laundry or clean, you have specific days and times dedicated to these tasks, freeing up your brain for other important decisions. Automating bill payments or using a meal planning/pickup/delivery service can also reduce the number of daily decisions you need to handle.
5. Reduce/Eliminate Excessive Screen Time
Excessive screen time can be a major contributor to decision fatigue by overwhelming you with constant choices and distractions. Spending long periods on social media, watching TV, or browsing the internet often leads to an overload of information. This constant influx of content and notifications can make it harder to focus and increase stress levels. To combat this, consider removing notifications for anything non-essential to reduce interruptions and mental clutter. Setting limits on screen time and prioritizing more meaningful activities can help you conserve energy and stay focused on decisions that really matter.
6. Delegation
Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks when possible. If you’re overwhelmed with work, see if there’s someone who can take on some of your responsibilities. This might mean asking your spouse to handle dinner one night or hiring a virtual assistant to manage your emails. Even getting your kids involved in age-appropriate chores can help lighten your load.
Since starting my business, I’ve seen stagnation because I tried to avoid spending extra money and did everything myself. But I was overwhelmed with all the decisions and tasks and wasn’t making any progress. A few weeks ago, I decided to delegate some tasks,( using women-run small businesses to help grow their business as well.) The progress has been remarkable. I’m delegating tasks I’m least efficient at because although I want to learn these things, I’ve decided that the time is worth it. Not all ROI is monetary immediately—some returns are sanity and progress, which will most likely eventually turn into a monetary return on investment. Yes, this adds a decision to the list initially, but if you choose the right person to help you, it will lighten your load and push you forward in the long run.
Here are three tips when delegating business tasks for entrepreneurs starting out:
- Identify your strengths and weaknesses: Delegate tasks that are outside your strengths or that consume a lot of your time (or things you hate to do.)
- Start small: Delegate a few tasks at first to get comfortable with the process.
- Choose the right people: Look for freelancers or small businesses that align with your values and understand your vision.
Final Thoughts
Progress Over Perfection
By embracing these strategies, you’re setting yourself up for a more balanced and focused life. Streamlining your decision-making process through time limits, prioritization, automation, and delegation not only helps reduce stress but also frees up valuable mental energy. Remember, it’s not about making every decision perfectly; it’s about making choices efficiently and moving forward. As you implement these practices, you’ll find yourself more energized and ready to tackle the big, bold decisions with clarity and confidence. You’ve got the tools to simplify your daily routine—now it’s time to put them into action and enjoy the benefits of a more manageable and fulfilling life.
Mom Guilt
It’s impossible to please everyone with every decision, especially when faced with tough choices, like deciding between one child’s soccer game and another’s dance recital happening at the same time. These situations are the hardest, but it’s crucial to remind yourself that doing your best is enough. Sometimes, you will also need to decide to have some self-care time, even if it means upsetting some little people. Remember, it’s essential to prioritize your own well-being because taking care of yourself enables you to be the best version of yourself for your family. Release that mom guilt (or friend guilt, or wife guilt, or daughter guilt) and accept that you can’t make everyone happy all the time!
Take the Challenge
Choose at least one of these strategies to put into action this week and see how it transforms your decision-making process. Whether it’s setting time limits, prioritizing tasks, automating routine decisions, or delegating responsibilities, taking this step can significantly ease your mental load.
These routine choices may seem endless, but they don’t have to be overwhelming. Stay tuned for our next blog post where we will dive into strategies for making those big, life-changing decisions without the fear of getting it wrong.