What were some of your favorite TV shows growing up? Imagine cozy evenings, a bowl of popcorn, and the familiar jingles of TV shows that portrayed the essence of friendship – from the light-hearted antics of “Saved by the Bell” to the enduring camaraderie of “Friends.” As a kid, I was hooked on the adventures of Zack Morris, daydreaming about having the ability to freeze time when I needed to navigate through life’s dilemmas. Then, as I grew older, the allure of Monica and Rachel’s apartment drew me into the world of “Friends,” where laughter seemed to mend even the toughest of times. The chorus of “I’ll be there for you…” plays in my mind highlighting the importance of having a tribe to lean on, not just in the fantasy of a TV show, but in the real world.
Being a bit of a gypsy soul – ironic, because I used to get homesick even just 9 miles away at church camp – my crew of friends has shifted with each new chapter. Unlike my parents, who’ve maintained steadfast friendships, my journey has been marked by a bit of distance. I am grateful for the diverse relationships that are part of my story and for the healthy friendships my parents have exemplified for me. These bonds have become the backbone of my journey.
Whether you find yourself in the ‘Saved by the Bell’ stage, living the ‘Friends’ era, or perhaps edging closer to a ‘Golden Girls’ chapter, this blog is for you. This month on the Bold Route, we’re embarking on a journey through the importance of relationships. Last month, we kicked off the year by empowering our journey through choosing and committing to a word of the year. Now, we extend that empowerment to our connections – beginning with the world of friendships.
As I focus on abundance this year, I’m prioritizing my friendships and connections more than in the past few years. In this blog, we’ll explore the qualities that define a good friendship. Let’s not aim for perfection but strive to understand how our friends empower our journey and vice versa. Are we the friends we aspire to have? Read on to identify areas that may need attention, and then, embrace the challenges below in those areas.
The Anatomy of a Great Friendship:
Before we jump into the nitty-gritty, let’s establish what makes a great friendship. Here’s a checklist: honesty, respect, non-judgment, empathy, forgiveness, humor, acceptance, encouragement, loyalty, kindness, fun, and adventure. Not every friend will completely fill in all the boxes, but understanding how your friendships align with these qualities can be a game-changer.
In the following sections, we’ll break down each trait and prompt you with questions for reflection. Identify areas for personal improvement, and in the next section, embrace the challenges for your personal growth.
Section 1: Core Values
HONESTY: Truth Talks- The Power of Transparency
Imagine a friendship built on a foundation of truth – a place where masks are unnecessary. Radical transparency allows for genuine connections and fosters trust, the cornerstone of lasting friendships. Honesty not only cleanses the soul but also strengthens the bond between friends.
Reflection: Think back to conversations you’ve had with your friends. Have you been completely transparent about your thoughts and feelings? Consider moments when you were truly authentic – admitting mistakes, sharing difficult truths, or simply being yourself. How did these instances contribute to the strength of your friendships?
RESPECT: Nourish and Flourish- The Art of Mutual Esteem
Although having similarities often initiates friendships, it’s the mutual respect for each other’s differences that truly forges the lasting bond between friends. Respect becomes the unspoken glue, weaving a connection that goes beyond shared interests, creating a foundation for enduring relationships.
Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt truly respected by a friend. Can you recall a moment of validation where your thoughts and feelings were genuinely acknowledged? Now, flip the script. Recall moments when you actively cherished and relished your friends, expressing appreciation for their uniqueness. How do you foster mutual respect in your friendships?
JUDGEMENT-FREE Zone: Liberating Friendships
In the world of friendship, a non-judgmental space is sacred. Free from criticism, it allows authentic expressions, creating an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding. Recall moments in your friendships where judgment was suspended, where you felt free to be your true self without fear of criticism. Who are the friends you wouldn’t hesitate to welcome into your messy home unexpectedly? Would they feel the same about you?
Reflection: Recall moments in your friendships where judgment was suspended, creating an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding. Think about friends you wouldn’t hesitate to welcome into your messy home unexpectedly. Would they feel the same about you? How can you actively listen without forming judgments and cultivate a non-judgmental space in your friendships?
Section 2: Emotional Bonds
EMPATHY: Soulful Connections- Building Emotional Bridges
Empathy, often described as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is the enchanting force that emotionally binds friends. It involves not only recognizing someone else’s emotions but also experiencing a sense of connection through shared feelings, turning ordinary moments into cherished memories.
Reflection: Pause for a moment and think about your friendships. Can you recall instances where a friend showed genuine empathy toward you – perhaps through a comforting word, a shared experience, or simply being there in a difficult moment? Now, consider how you can deepen your own empathy. How can you create a safe space for your friends to express their feelings?
FORGIVENESS: Pardon & Progress- The Healing Factor
Ever felt the sting of a nasty burn? Well, forgiveness is a bit like that soothing touch of aloe, easing the pain and bringing much-needed comfort. In the world of friendships, it’s the healing balm that helps patch up the bumps and bruises, letting relationships recover and thrive.
Reflection: Reflect on moments in your friendships when forgiveness played a significant role. Consider any lingering resentment or unresolved issues that might require your attention. How has forgiveness been a healing balm in your friendships, allowing relationships to recover and thrive?
HUMOR: Laughter Lines- The Power of a Good Laugh
This is my favorite part of friendship! In the photo above, we somehow captured this authentic moment representing true friendship. I wish I could remember what caused the laughter, but I can vividly recall the feeling. These friends, despite life’s shifts and distance, remain a source of support.
Reflection: Think back to instances when laughter played a pivotal role in your friendships. Who are the friends that challenge you to laugh even in tough times? How do you contribute to the joy and laughter in your friendships?
ACCEPTANCE: Unconditional Embrace - Celebrating Diversity
Wouldn’t life be boring if we were all exactly the same? In a true friendship, diversity is not just welcomed – it’s celebrated. Acceptance is the cornerstone of embracing individuals for who they are, quirks and all, creating a space where differences are not only acknowledged but cherished.
Reflection: Think back to moments when you felt the warmth of complete acceptance from your friends, quirks and all. Reflect on aspects of yourself that you might hesitate to reveal to your friends. Are there quirks or traits you’re a little afraid to let them know about? How can you actively embrace and appreciate the various quirks that make each of your friends unique?
Section 3: Supportive Dynamics
ENCOURAGING: Inspire and Elevate - Fueling Friend Aspirations
An encouraging friendship can bring dreams to life. Think back to a time when a friend’s belief in your abilities fueled your determination, acting as a gentle yet powerful push towards your goals. It’s those moments of shared enthusiasm that can make all the difference. It could be what propels you toward that goal you’ve had in mind, a destination you might not have reached without their unwavering support.
Reflection: Think back to a time when a friend’s belief in your abilities fueled your determination. How can you be a beacon of inspiration for your friends? How does encouragement in friendships act as a powerful push towards goals and aspirations?
LOYALTY: Unwavering Ties - The Foundation of Trust
Loyalty forms the cornerstone of enduring friendships, creating a steadfast pillar of trust. It’s about standing by your friends through thick and thin, showcasing unwavering commitment.
Reflection: Consider those moments when loyalty defined your friendships. Reflect on the friend who has been with you through thick and thin. How can you be a steadfast presence for your friends, offering reliability, dependability, and support, especially in their times of need?
KINDNESS: Heartfelt Gestures - Cultivating Positivity
Kindness is like the secret ingredient that makes all the difference in our friendship recipe, so I wanted to shine a spotlight on its importance. Sometimes, we need to go out of our way to create a positive environment in our friendships through thoughtful acts of goodwill. It’s not just about those challenging times; it’s about random acts that can light up someone’s day.
Reflection: Recall instances where kindness transformed a moment in your friendships. Be intentional about kindness. How can you actively cultivate positivity through thoughtful acts of goodwill?
FUN AND ADVENTURE: Dare to Discover - Elevating Friendships
Saved for the grand finale, adventure might not be everyone’s initial thought when it comes to friendships, but if you’ve followed us on the Bold Route, you know we’re all about embracing the thrill of the unknown. Finding friends who share your zest for adventure and challenging each other to be bold, have fun, and seek excitement is a crucial aspect of a fulfilling life. In the grand scheme of things, life is short, and making lasting memories with friends is a priority.
Reflection: Reflect on those adventures and fun-filled moments that stand out in your friendships. How can you infuse more excitement into your friendships by daring to discover new horizons? What role does fun and adventure play in keeping the relationship vibrant and contributing to a profound sense of shared joy and unforgettable memories?
Friendship Challenges: A Call to Action
Now that you have reflected on these friendship traits, you might have identified areas for personal growth and qualities you wish to see more in your friends. Consider sharing this article with them and initiating open discussions about the traits you each want to work on.
Below, you’ll find a list of challenges for each trait. I encourage you to accept at least one meaningful initiative in the top three areas you’ve identified for personal improvement. It’s a small yet impactful step toward enhancing your friendships and steering your journey toward a more fulfilling life. Embrace these challenges as opportunities for growth and positive change.
Honesty Challenges:
- Share a personal secret or fear you’ve been holding back with a friend.
- Have an open and honest conversation about a mistake you made recently.
- Initiate a Truth Talk session where you and your friend take turns sharing unfiltered thoughts and feelings.
Respect Challenges:
- Write a heartfelt letter expressing specific qualities you appreciate in a friend and mail it to them.
- Plan a surprise appreciation dinner or gathering for a friend, celebrating their uniqueness.
- Create a “Friendship Appreciation Jar” where you both drop notes highlighting things you love about each other.
Non-Judgment Challenges:
- Practice active listening without interrupting during a conversation with a friend.
- Spend a day consciously avoiding making any judgments about your friends, even in your thoughts.
- Share a personal experience where you felt vulnerable, creating a safe space for openness.
Empathy Challenges:
- Initiate a conversation with a friend about a recent challenge they faced, actively listening without judgment.
- Share a personal emotional experience with a friend, fostering a deeper connection.
- Attend a workshop or read a book together on emotional intelligence to enhance your empathy skills.
Forgiveness Challenges:
- Write a forgiveness letter to a friend addressing any unresolved issues or conflicts.
- Schedule a face-to-face meeting with a friend to discuss and resolve lingering resentments.
- Practice forgiveness meditation together with a friend, focusing on letting go of past grievances.
Laughter Challenges:
- Organize a game night with friends, incorporating humor and laughter.
- Share a collection of funny memes, videos, or jokes with your friends to lighten the mood.
- Plan a themed costume party or movie night centered around comedy.
Acceptance Challenges:
- Host a night to celebrate each friend’s quirks. Share funny or endearing stories related to unique traits, celebrating individuality.
- Spend a day exploring each friend’s hobbies. Engage in activities showcasing individual interests.
- Write a letter to a friend, sharing specific compliments about their personality traits that make them unique.
Encouragement Challenge:
- Conduct a one-on-one interview with a friend to understand their goals and aspirations. Follow up with monthly check in’s and encouraging progress.
- Create a vision board together, visualizing each other’s aspirations and dreams.
- Attend a workshop or class related to a friend’s passion to show active support.
Loyalty Challenge:
- Offer to help a friend with a significant task or project, demonstrating reliability.
- Surprise your friend with a thoughtful gesture, like a small gift, a handwritten note, or attending an event significant to them, demonstrating your enduring support.
- Plan a surprise visit or outing for a friend going through a tough period, proving your dependability.
Kindness Challenge:
- Organize a surprise party for a friend who needs a pick-me-up.
- Write anonymous positive notes and leave them in your friends’ mailboxes.
- Coordinate a community service day with your friends, engaging in acts of kindness together.
Fun and Adventure Challenge:
- Collaboratively create a bucket list with specific activities you all want to experience together.
- Plan and execute one adventure from your bucket list, capturing moments with photos.
- Surprise your friends with a spontaneous road trip or day outing to check off a bucket list item.
Closing Thoughts:
Remember that like any relationship, friendships require effort and commitment. Nurturing the bonds that light up your life is a bold step toward a fulfilling existence. Whether you’re building your tribe or cherishing the bonds you have, let friendship be the soundtrack of your journey. Next week, we’re shifting gears into the world of romantic relationships. Until then, cherish the moments of laughter, embrace the distinct character of your friendships, and keep navigating the enduring connections on your Bold Route.
